Today, I would like to share a journal entry from a few weeks back that encapsulates everything.
Recently, I have been struggling a lot with my anxiety. I am unsure why it has been particularly severe lately. If you read my post from last month, you would understand the distinction between experiencing anxiety and having an anxiety disorder. When I mention feeling unwell, it is not due to a cold or flu. It is because my anxiety is physically affecting me. It has become extremely challenging for me to engage in any activities. It is a constant battle to motivate myself to get out of bed. All I desire is to sleep, as every time I rise, I am overwhelmed by thoughts of my responsibilities and tasks, which seem insurmountable. I simply wish to stay in bed and drift off to sleep. This sensation is distressing because it impacts my mood entirely. I want to feel happy, and I am capable of happiness, but taking action is incredibly difficult. When people invite me to do something, I have no choice but to decline. The chest pains, stomach aches, and headaches are unbearable. I do not feel inclined to explain the intricacies of my anxiety disorder to others.
This prevailing mood has been draining, affecting not just my productivity at work, as I become stressed each time I sit at my desk, but also my interactions with my family, as I find it challenging to leave my bed. It is not a matter of being depressed, although it may sound like it; rather, I am avoiding dealing with the stress and pain that accompany it.
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