The holidays are supposed to be a time of joy and togetherness, but sometimes, they can bring out the worst in people and situations. This year, I’ve had more than my fair share of family time, and while I’ve been putting on a brave face, inside, I’ve been screaming.
There’s this one person, Emily, who seems to suck the energy out of everything and everyone. She’s mentally and physically abusive, yet somehow, she’s the one who gets to have a happy life. It’s infuriating to watch her get everything she wants while I’m left dealing with the trauma she’s caused.
For example, in February, she’s going to New York for a concert. My brother-in-law is taking her because he and my sister know the city well. While they’re there, he’s taking her to three different Broadway shows. That’s my dream trip, and it’s being handed to the very person who’s made my life a living hell. It hurts so much to see her get what I’ve always wanted.
Not only that, but she sleeps comfortably at night without a care in the world, while I’m up all night, stressed and dealing with PTSD from her actions. She goes out every night with friends, never worrying about money or consequences. She’s always gotten away with everything, and it’s just not fair.
Adding insult to injury, my family always gets mad at me for not wanting to spend time with them. They act confused about why I prefer to keep my distance, but they don’t seem to understand—or maybe they choose to ignore—how they’ve treated me compared to how they treat Emily. It’s exhausting to constantly be the one who has to “play nice” when all I want to do is escape the toxicity.
I know life isn’t fair, but at some point, it feels like a cruel joke. How does she get to have all that when she’s never deserved it? It’s hard to keep going when it feels like the universe is against you, but I’m trying to hold on to the hope that things will get better.
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