Today, I decided to take a trip down memory lane and pick out an old post to update. Why this one, you ask? Well, last November, I experienced my fourth episode of Bell’s Palsy, but this time, it was different. It was the first time I had to handle it as an adult, and I thought it was important to share how that journey has been.
Bell’s Palsy is characterized by muscle weakness that causes one half of the face to droop. It causes temporary paralysis of half your face. It’s rare to get and if you do get it, you’re only supposed to have it once. But for me, it has been a recurring challenge. I had it three times as a child. The first time, I was only ten years old, and the last time was right before I started high school. It was a really scary time for me, and I want to share my story on Bell’s Palsy.
When I was ten years old, I woke up one morning and noticed half my face felt weird. I went to my mother, who was a nurse, and she knew what it was, but to avoid freaking out a ten-year-old, she took me to the ER. I found out that half my face would be paralyzed for a while. When asking how long, the doctors didn’t really know. They said it could last from a week to six months, and that fucking scared me. Luckily for me, the paralysis lasted about two weeks, but the lasting effects were painful. I had a lot of pain in my face and was later diagnosed with chronic pain due to the Bell’s Palsy. I don’t know if everyone with Bell’s Palsy has chronic pain afterwards, but for me, that’s what happened.
The next time I got Bell’s Palsy, I was around 12 years old. I was being homeschooled because of my anxiety, and middle school was just hell. Although I knew what Bell’s Palsy was, it didn’t make it any less scary. The big unknown of what was happening with my face sent my anxiety on a downward spiral.
The last time I had Bell’s Palsy as a child, I was 14 and getting ready to start high school. It was supposed to be an exciting and scary time, but for all the right reasons. Instead, I was terrified. I didn’t want to get made fun of because half my face didn’t work. I didn’t need people staring at me and laughing at me. I was already the fat girl, which was enough to get made fun of, but I didn’t need this too. Thankfully, this episode lasted roughly three weeks, a little longer than the last two, but just before I started high school.
Now, as an adult, handling my fourth episode of Bell’s Palsy brought a new set of challenges. Navigating this condition meant juggling responsibilities, managing work, and facing the world with a brave face—even when half of it wasn’t cooperating. There were moments of frustration, moments of self-doubt, but also moments of incredible strength and resilience.
One thing that remained constant was the support from my loved ones and the reminder that it’s okay to ask for help. Each episode has taught me more about patience and self-care, and this latest one was no exception. It’s a journey of healing, both physically and emotionally, and I’m grateful for every lesson it has brought.
So, here’s to updating old posts and reflecting on how far we’ve come. Life throws curveballs, but it’s in these moments that we discover our true strength. If you’re facing something similar, know that you’re not alone. Together, we can navigate these challenges and come out stronger on the other side.
As always, I’ll see you in the next post. 💕
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