A few days ago, I stumbled upon a tweet that asked, “What’s the one question that bothers you the most?” It got me thinking, and I realized that for me, it’s “Do you miss your mom?” Even after almost ten years, I still get asked this question, and my answer remains the same: No.
It’s not that I don’t miss the idea of having a loving mother. I miss who she was before I realized the abuse she was inflicting on me. But overall, I don’t miss her. The truth is, I’m free to live the life I thought I would never have because of her.
Growing up, I endured a lot of pain and suffering at the hands of my mom. It took me a long time to recognize the abuse for what it was and to break free from it. Now, I cherish the freedom and independence I have, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything.
People often ask me if I miss her because they don’t know what she did to me. They see the surface-level relationship between a mother and child and assume there’s an inherent bond that can’t be broken. But for me, that bond was shattered long ago by the abuse and manipulation I endured.
It’s not easy to explain this to others, and I don’t always feel the need to. My journey is my own, and I know the truth of what I went through. I don’t need validation from others to understand my feelings or to justify my decision to distance myself from my mom.
So, when people ask me if I miss her, I simply say no. I miss the person she could have been, but I don’t miss the person she was. I’m grateful for the life I have now, free from the shadows of my past. And that’s all that matters.
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