You know what’s wild? The people who hurt you the most always seem to end up with front-row seats to the life you were pushed out of. Emily — the girl who made my life hell, who nearly broke me, who left bruises on my body and threats in my ears — gets to live with Sarah now. Gets to see my niece every day. Gets to play house in the same space I used to be welcome in. And somehow, I’m still the problem.
Let me say that again for the people in the back: I haven’t seen my niece in over a year. But Emily, the walking chaos tornado who can’t stay in her clothes, who drinks too much, lies too easily, and manipulates like it’s her full-time job — she gets the golden ticket. She gets the family dinners, the inside jokes, the everyday moments. And I get silence. I get exile.
And Sarah? Sarah believed one lie. One. No proof, no questions, just blind loyalty to someone who’s done nothing but damage. She’s so scared of me now she hides — literally hides — but still has the audacity to text Tia asking if we want to come over for Thanksgiving. Like we’re all just playing pretend. Like I didn’t spend the last 15 years being the good girl, the peacekeeper, the one who swallowed every insult and betrayal just to keep the family from falling apart.
But here’s the part I hate admitting: I’m jealous. I’m jealous of Emily. Not because I want her life — gods no — but because she has Sarah. My older sister. The one who was supposed to have my back. The one who was supposed to help me through life, not leave me drowning in it. When I was crying for help, taking care of our dying mom, Sarah was too busy. Too busy living the life I wanted. Too busy being free while I was stuck in grief and responsibility. And now? Now she’s being a sister to Emily. She’s showing up for her. She’s choosing her. And it hurts. It hurts in a way I can’t even explain.
So no, Sarah. I won’t be at Thanksgiving. You’re lucky I have plans with Izzy, because if I showed up, I wouldn’t be nice. I wouldn’t play along. I wouldn’t pretend everything’s fine while the people who hurt me sit at the table like royalty.
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